Guiding Young Children

TECHNIQUES FOR GUIDING YOUNG CHILDREN

1. Use a positive suggestion when dealing with young children. Tell the child what to do instead of what not to do. "We walk in the halls," instead of "Don't run." Speak with a pleasant and encouraging voice and always use "please" and "thank you." Bossy commands should be avoided

2. Use alternative suggestions rather than negative commands. Suggest an alternative activity, instead of "Don't do that" when a child is exhibiting negative behavior. If a toy is taken from another child suggest a way to share or choose another toy to play with. Children cannot stop doing, but they can do something different.

3. Always praise and emphasize aspects of behavior that are desirable. Let the child know you have confidence in his/her ability to use them. "Sarah knows about scissors," "Henry is remembering to keep water in the sink," "Mike is very thoughtful to help Richie pick up the crayons." Try to comment on good aspects of a child's behavior, especially a child who often exhibits negative behavior.

4. Always use "positive strokes." This develops a sense of security, trust and self worth in a shy and withdrawn child, as well as a normal child. Give shy and withdrawn children an opportunity for success in social situations such as helping the teacher or another child, helping others notice their achievements, giving them praise and encouragement, noticing a new shirt or belt or a pretty color they are wearing.

5. Try to use a calm, soft voice. Speaking softly maintains calmness. Firm but soft voices are more effective than harsh, loud voices.

6. Anger should be avoided in the presence of children. Adults and children alike have limits of endurance. Punishing and scolding are seldom effective when one is angry. Simply stating that you "f eel angry today because. . ." lets the children know how you feel without losing control.

7. Avoid public confrontations with children. Difficult children should be handled individually , without calling attention to their negative behavior.

8. Observe a child's behavior to better understand that child's behavior. A push by a young child may indicate a desire for social contact; another child's push may indicate fatigue, illness, etc. Before attempting to change a behavior one must understand the reason behind that behavior.

9. Avoid the use of "good girl" or "bad boy." "What a good helper you are," or "That was a good job," should be used instead of "That's a good boy." The child applies good and bad to his actions rather than himself.

10. Be consistent in your requests and restrictions. Have rules and enforce them. Always let the child know what is expected of him.

11. Explain the reasons behind the rules whenever possible. "Put the toys in the box. If you throw them, they might break and we might get hurt." This helps the child learn cause/effect relationships.

12. Do not back down on the rules you have made. "If you throw the blocks, you will have to leave the block area." Follow up on this rule if it is broken. Make the child leave if he throws the blocks and he will soon learn that you mean what you say.

13. Give children choices whenever possible. This tends to give children a feeling of freedom in determining their own plans and develops decision making ability. Make the choice simple, as not to confuse the child. "Would you like to color or play with Legos?"

14. Avoid general statements. Preschool children respond better to specific requests. "Put your clothes on" is a general request which makes the task seem complicated for a three- or four-year-old. "Put on your socks," "Now put on your sneakers," are specific requests that tell the child what you expect of him/her.

15. Avoid asking a question unless you really want to give children a choice. "It is time to read a story," instead of "Do you want to read a story?" With a classroom full of children one should avoid asking "Who would like to be the first to. . .";instead you should say, "Jane, you can be first to. . ."

16. Avoid hurried commands. Use unhurried statements such as, "You can do it quickly" instead of "Hurry up, hurry up." Hurrying a child often tends to slow him up and often produces dislike and confusion for a task.

17. Isolate overactive children from the group whenever possible, not as a punishment but to decrease the stimulation the child is receiving. Helping the child understand why he is being isolated is very important. He/she should be made to understand it is not a punishment, just a calming down time.

18. Avoid asking the child "What is it?" when commenting on art work or any object the child might show you. Encourage the child to tell you about his picture or toy, or just simply comment on how pretty it is or what nice colors were used in a drawing or painting.

19. Help children to understand and accept their feelings as normal. Children, as well as adults, have feelings of happiness, sadness, anger, loneliness, etc. Children should never be made to feel guilt about how they feel.