Communicating With A Non-Verbal child...

Communication is a basic human need, allowing people to connect with others, make decisions that affect their lives, express feelings and feel part of the community they live in.

People with little or no speech still have the same communication needs as the rest of us. We may just have to work a bit harder to find a communication strategy that works.

The following tips have been contributed to Scope by parents of children and adults with special needs. We hope you will find them useful.

1. Make it mean something

Poly (Imaginary name)can clap her hands so we have taught her to clap when she wants to say yes.

2. Level it up

Playing and talking are easier if you can see each other. Sit so you are at the same level.

3. Talk about it

Non-Verbal kids can’t speak and also has limited understanding but it is important to keep talking to them about what’s going on.

4. Eye contact

I put stickers on my forehead as a target for kid to look at. This reminds him/her to look at people’s faces, so people feel more like he is engaging with them.

5. It has meaning – it’s just not obvious

We treat every non-verbal indication as a communication and try to work out what a kid is trying to say to us.

6. Use mirrors

If looking directly into your eyes is too invasive for the person you’re supporting, try using mirrors to see if they can look at you that way.

7. Do you want X or Y?

When I am out and about with non-verbal kids, I say ‘do you want X’ (tapping my hand in one spot) ‘or Y’ (tapping my hand in another). He/she then selects a spot. We use it for all sorts of communication now – not just choices.

8. Find other means of expression

Give your child an opportunity to express themselves. Dance, music, drawing, painting, messing with textures, banging drums, shaking maracas – and join in too. Don’t be afraid to lay down with them on the carpet and see the world from their point of view.

9. Simplify your language. 

Doing so helps your child follow what you’re saying. It also makes it easier for her to imitate your speech. If your child is nonverbal, try speaking mostly in single words. (If she’s playing with a ball, you say “ball” or “roll.”) If your child is speaking single words, up the ante. Speak in short phrases, such as “roll ball” or “throw ball.” Keep following this “one-up” rule: Generally use phrases with one more word than your child is using.

10. Puppets and singing

Often children on the autistic spectrum do not communicate with other people or make eye contact. Yet they can, and do, communicate – often verbally – with a puppet or even their pets. Some children find singing a delight and can sing wonderfully even though they use very little verbal communication. Use these strengths as an aid to interaction.

11. Create social stories

I have been creating my own social stories using pictures of my kids and clip art pictures. You can find images of most things through Microsoft Office and easily type up your own personalised stories.

12. Make ‘flash cards’

Take photos of a non verbal person’s favorite toys, family members, objects eg cup, biscuit etc. Choose the most motivating items to begin with. Print and laminate them postcard size. Giving a choice of no more than three cards at a time, encourage them to choose by pointing or touching. May also be helpful to put the relevant sign on the back of photo as a reference for others

13. Carry a surprise card

If you have a child with Autism or Asperger’s, it’s worth carrying a ‘surprise’ card with you for unplanned situations (like unannounced fire drills). On the card, have a surprise symbol (an exclamation mark) & ‘SURPRISE! we are going to x, y, z’ (your child’s favorite place).

14. Instant mobile photo’s

Don’t forget to make best use of your mobile (if it has a camera) – it’s a fabulous instant device to use as a photo communication tool.

15. Leave “space” for your child to talk. 

It’s natural to feel the urge to fill in language when a child doesn’t immediately respond. But it’s so important to give your child lots of opportunities to communicate, even if he isn’t talking. When you ask a question or see that your child wants something, pause for several seconds while looking at him expectantly. Watch for any sound or body movement and respond promptly. The promptness of your response helps your child feel the power of communication.

16. Objects of reference

Objects of reference are a great way of helping people with profound learning disabilities and/or other sensory impairments to understand the world around them. Use an object to symbolize the activity they are about to participate in, eg a fork for dinner, towel for bath.

17. Follow your child’s interests. 

Rather than interrupting your child’s focus, follow along with words. Using the one-up rule, narrate what your child is doing. If he’s playing with a shape sorter, you might say the word “in” when he puts a shape in its slot. You might say “shape” when he holds up the shape and “dump shapes” when he dumps them out to start over. By talking about what engages your child, you’ll help him learn the associated vocabulary.

18. Encourage play and social interaction.

 Children learn through play, and that includes learning language. Interactive play provides enjoyable opportunities for you and your child to communicate. Try a variety of games to find those your child enjoys. Also try playful activities that promote social interaction. Examples include singing, reciting nursery rhymes and gentle roughhousing. During your interactions, position yourself in front of your child and close to eye level – so it’s easier for your child to see and hear you.

19. Imitate your child. 

Mimicking your child’s sounds and play behaviors will encourage more vocalizing and interaction. It also encourages your child to copy you and take turns. Make sure you imitate how your child is playing – so long as it’s a positive behavior. For example, when your child rolls a car, you roll a car. If he or she crashes the car, you crash yours too. But don’t imitate throwing the car!

20. Communication books & charts

Some children can learn to make choices by pointing to a symbol and or word in a communication book or on a communication chart. They might be able to point with a fist or a finger or they might be able to point with their eyes or with a head pointer.

21. Focus on nonverbal communication. 

Gestures and eye contact can build a foundation for language. Encourage your child by modeling and responding these behaviors. Exaggerate your gestures. Use both your body and your voice when communicating – for example, by extending your hand to point when you say “look” and nodding your head when you say “yes.” Use gestures that are easy for your child to imitate. Examples include clapping, opening hands, reaching out arms, etc. Respond to your child’s gestures: When she looks at or points to a toy, hand it to her or take the cue for you to play with it. Similarly, point to a toy you want before picking it up.

22. Consider assistive devices and visual supports. 

Assistive technologies and visual supports can do more than take the place of speech. They can foster its development. Examples include devices and apps with pictures that your child touches to produce words. On a simpler level, visual supports can include pictures and groups of pictures that your child can use to indicate requests and thoughts.


Your child’s therapists are uniquely qualified to help you select and use these and other strategies for encouraging language development. Tell the therapist about your successes as well as any difficulties you’re having. By working with your child’s intervention team, you can help provide the support your child needs to find his or her unique “voice.”