Parent's Story

From Diary of a Parent...




The nightmare started with the nagging realization that something was not right with the way our son was developing .This must be every parent's greatest fear.We tried to reassure ourselves with the positive indication that everything was fine.Our son has no physical evidence of problems and he had successfully passed most of the early developmental milestones .We kept hearing ,"so he's not talking yet......Children talk at different times." He was not as social as others, but every child is different , with distinct personalities and temperaments .We wanted to downplay the suspicions. We needed to.We had to.Family members and friends were always eager to help deny the fears.But the nagging feeling just did not go away..

we shared our concern with the pediatrician-someone we trusted and who had aided in our children's care and well being .He said not to worry All children develop a little differently .That was the reassurance we were hoping for and we so wanted to believe it. "May be I'm just being an anxious parent and that may be contributing to the problem," I would say to myself.Maybe I'm doing too much for this child-He is the eldest and they say that can happen with the baby of the family.

But in the passing months ,things did not improve.The gap between our boy and our friend's children continued widen. At the next checkup I again reported the lack of progress .One more time I was told not to worry .There would still be plenty of time for him to talk .The doctor smiled reassuring and said once he start talking , we would probably wish he would be quiet.

One final time me and my husband went together. We pleaded our case with the pediatrician .Maybe it was just to placate us, but he made a referral .I did not know what to feel. Comfort ? Someone finally agreed with us and now something finally can happen .Anger ? I have known something was wrong and no one would listen .Denial ?Perhaps the pediatrician is now overreacting and everything is actually OK. Guilt ?Why did I not follow my gut instincts sooner ?

What I felt was panic wanting to get help for our son immediately .Scheduling to see professionals ,However , proved trying with long waits for appointments and delay that I was beginning to realize he could ill afford . The first professional we met with very coolly and quickly told us that it was autism .I was Devastated , not fully understanding what it meant and all the ramifications , but I knew it was not good . I had actually suspected something like this , but to have the diagnosis was shattering.

I know some parents are not even as "Fortunate " as us to get the diagnosis at such an early age.They are told their child is too young , there is nothing out of the ordinary , The doctor does not see any problem , or at least there is nothing outside of the norm that their children will not outgrow. Without a definitive diagnosis they have bounced from diagnostician to diagnostician , Being provided with alternative and sometimes competing or contradictory explanations for what is occurring with their child.Some parents are given an incorrect diagnosis that sends them down the wrong path altogether.

Having such experience in dealing with professionals , all we can think about is the precious time that our child has lost. You are already feeling tormented and then along come well-meaning family and friends that question the diagnosis. You are so tempted to join them in their disbelief , but deep in your heart you know the best thing to do is to not listen to them .You do not have the time or energy to debate and try convince them.

The nightmare continued . We suffered the pain of not receiving invitations to join in-group activities because unspoken concerns about how our boy would behave.Our circle of friends diminished as we spent increasing time seeking information and treatment .Social activities were difficult to enjoy anyway and birthday party of another child was only reminder of the deficits in our own child.Friends could not have known what to say and their encouragement would sound shallow.I felt isolated ,helpless and lost.

Finally there came an overwhelming need to regroup. Gathering all my strength ,I started trying to sort out options .where do you even start looking for helpful information about autism? The little i founded sound bleak. There was tremendous contradiction and what later turned out to be misinformation.I read that it is little long disorder and that our child would always be seriously impaired. Then there were all supposed " cures". Who was I to believe ? You want to believe that recovery is an option ,but you fear it is really not possible . The nightmare continued.

There are such diverse and strong opinions. Vitamin therapies ,Diets , Allergy treatments ,Play therapy ,sensory integration and so on...There are even some interventions that seem so outrageous they give me a good laugh . And then there are all the therapies Speech , Occupational ,Play , Physical ,Behavioral , Vision .You are told with such conviction that one is absolutely the best and the others may be quite harmful. Then you get a second opinion , Which of course is exactly the opposite .You want to scream!!!

It seemed that there was little that would be truly effective and we would just have to accept the diagnosis and bleak prognosis. We choose special education , hoping our child could at least learn something and be happy . A year later I read something about behavioral treatment and for some reason this time it made me really think . When I questioned the professional , they said no ,it's just not the miracle we were looking for ,that we were already doing everything that could help him . But when I talked to a few parents who were doing intensive behavioral program it seemed like there must be some thing to this .Their children had made amazing progress. When I did more research on my own I found books and scientific articles that provide convincing proof that these anti-behavioral professionals once again were incorrect .The nightmare was ending , but a long road of hard work lay ahead of us...............

Hyperactivity and Autism

'Is your child Hyperactive ? Sit for a moment and think of how you define "Hyperactive " or "Hyperkinesis". What are the specific behavior that make you use these words ? Now when your doctor asks, "Is your child restless?" How do you know what they have in mind for a definition ? Every person has an individual concept of what is an acceptable level of activity of their child , based on their ideas of how children should behave. Some parents encourage their children to be very active, while some parents expect their children to behave like miniature adults.Giving medications designed for hyperactivity will do nothing to decrease what might be better called fidgeting or restlessness .....you may get a heavily sedated , near zombie-like child, but he may still open and shut the cabinet for hours at a time.

A certain amount of energy is natural and to be expected in children.How much is your child's problem due to your awareness that he is autistic versus he is normal ? Often ,an autistic child will be termed hyperactive and given heavy sedative , Yet his non autistic brother will be permitted to run and jump all around , and will be praised for his athleticism and energy . Is the reason you believe he is hyperactive because he has certain behavior , or is it because he doesn't respond to you when you tell him to stop ?

what are the ways your autistic child has to releasing his energy? How many time does he have to play or even walk outside compared to your normal child or your neighbors child ? Autistic children just as all children , should be given ample time to exercise , which is an acceptable and healthy way to release energy . Physical activity can enormously improve a child's behavior inside the home. Some parents say "I want to take my child outside to play, but I'm Terrified he'll run off ,The second I let go of his hand ,He just runs and what if he runs into the street ?" This is legitimate concern , but what is the result of this fear ? The child doesn't go out at all , no doubt doubling the energy he has to move through the house,tipping things over and reinforcing the conviction that he cannot be taken out,

There are ways of managing the behavior that don't involve medication . For the health of your child and your own well being , these should be thoroughly and exhaustively tried before restoring to medication . Remember your doctor is prescribing medication for your child to make the situation easier for you.. He or she is not the person who will deal with your child , and if you learn effective ways of managing challenging behaviors , there is no reason to sedate your child unnecessarily..

Be Present

Sometime I think that being a stay at home mom, it is easy to feel isolated and staying connected on social media can help us to feel more connected.But At the same time, it can become a distraction and a time suck from things that may be better spent with our time.learning to be present is a skill that have to develop and practice.

How to be Present

1. Limit the use of social media.

I am not saying you have to give it up completely, but try to be mindful and honest in how much time you are spending on it.

Once you realize how much time you are spending on Facebook or watsapp or any other site on internet .you can then decide if you need to cut back. Tell yourself you will only check Facebook for 10 min in the morning and 10 minutes in the evening or whatever schedule works for you.

You can put your phone in the cupboard or drawer during the day, so that it is less tempting to constantly be checking it. Or like going social media free for the first hour when you wake up and the last hour before you go to sleep. After a few weeks, increase it to other times in your day.



“The virtual trap!
Everyday i meet people who are trapped in the virtual world.
They are hooked to Facebook or whatsapp.
Many are having virtual Relationship. Where they share every personal details without fully knowing the intentions of the person on the other side.
Stop being a slave to your electronic devices.
Move out and socialize. Its not that difficult.”

2. Divide your Responsibilities

Hire someone to come clean your house a couple times a month or find a “mother’s helper”. If you this is not a possibility, divide tasks that take up your time to other members of your family. Think , “does this have to be done by me?”, if not then Divide that task..

3. Pick times in the day when you are going to be 100% present with your kids.

Picking one to two 20-30 minute periods a day when you can be fully present and spend quality time with your kids will make such a big difference. It will make you feel more connected to your kids and it will make your children happier and more well behaved.

4. Easify your schedule.

Cut down your commitments to the essentials. I think society tells us that we need to fill our schedules to the brim and put our kids in every kind of extra-curricular there is. However, I feel like when we do this we are missing on opportunities to slow down and be present in our life.

Examine and think extra-curriculars your kids are in do they work for you and and your family and if they are worth the time it takes. I am not saying to cut extra-curriculars all together, if your child loves it and you think it is worth the time, then keep it!

5. Look your child in the eye when they are talking to you.

When your child is asking you a question or talking to you, stop and look them in the eye. This will make them feel valued and like you care about what they are saying. When we half pay attention to what our kids our saying because we are distracted by our phone or social media, it can hurt our relationships with our kids.

6. Be creative with your time.

Some of the best times to connect with your kids are times we wouldn’t normally consider. Instead of listening to music in the car when you are out try talking instead. Also, making dinner together can be a great way to bond with your child.

7. Give yourself “mommy time”.

When you follow your dreams and engage in activities you love, you will feel happier and more refreshed.Spend 30 minutes a day or a few hours a week to yourself to do something you love. It can be something you have always wanted to do like taking a photography or cooking class or it can be something small like taking 30 minutes a day to read a book you have been wanting to read.

“Keep some time absolutely for you ..It is about honouring yourself and connecting with yourself. Taking care of yourself is one of the first steps on the journey of discovering your truth and accessing your creativity..Just BE yourself and do what you enjoy the most, When you honour and nurture yourself you can hear your inner voice much more clearly, it enables you to discover your truth, access your creativity and experience a sense of peace, wholeness, purpose, and balance.”

8. Find Happiness in the moments.

When we learn to find happiness in the moments and stop looking to the future for our happiness, we can be more present in the moment.

“ Aspire , Aim , Act and Achieve . While writing your LIFE STORY use colorful ink and hold the pen yourself .”

Fine Motor Skills and Pencil Grip.

fine Motor Skills

When it comes to using gross motor skills — things like walking, jumping, and running — your little dynamo probably doesn't need much encouragement. But it's equally important that kids work on their fine motor skills — small, precise thumb, finger, hand, and wrist movements — because they support a host of other vital physical and mental skills. Children who have issues with fine motor skills have a hard time developing strong muscles in their hands and wrists. Fine motor skills are the foundation children need before they learn handwriting, in order to have proper pencil grasp and control of a writing instrument.

Here are ideas for activities that can help them build the muscles needed for fine motor skills.

Fine Motor skills include:

· Pencil skills (scribbling, colouring, drawing, writing),

· Scissors skills (cutting),

· Construction skills (lego, duplo),

· Self care (tyng shoelaces, opening lunch boxes).

Note: Visual perception is not strictly a fine motor skill but directly supports fine motor skill performance.

Fine motor skills are essential for performing everyday skills like cutting, self care tasks (e.g. managing clothing fastenings, opening lunch boxes, cleaning teeth) and pencil skills. Without the ability to complete these every day tasks, a child's self esteem can suffer and their academic performance is compromised. They are also unable to develop appropriate independence in life skills (such as getting dressed and feeding themselves).

Some Fine motor Activities

Stock up on play-dough :Play-dough has been a childhood favorite for decades. Not only is it downright fun, but handling play-dough also develops some important skills. Squeezing and stretching it helps strengthen finger muscles, and touching it is a valuable sensory experience.

Do some finger painting :Using finger paint can strengthen your child’s hand-eye coordination and manual dexterity. All you need is an easel or a thick piece of paper, some finger paints and a space—like the yard or garage—where your child can get messy.

Squeeze out a sponge :Set up two separate bowls, one filled with water and the other empty. Give your child a sponge and have her soak it in one bowl. Then have her squeeze the water out of the sponge into the other bowl. She can transfer water back and forth between bowls, too. This simple game can strengthen hands and forearms. It’s especially fun if you throw in some bubbles or some food dye.

Color with broken crayons :Difficulties with fine motor skills can make it tough to grip a pencil. Coloring with small, broken crayons encourages your child to hold the crayon correctly—between her thumb and forefinger. Small pieces of chalk and the pencils used on mini-golf courses work well, too. No matter what you use, this activity a fun way to challenge your child.

Play string games :Another low-tech activity that can provide hours of fun is string games, like Cat’s Cradle. String games help improve finger strength and hand-eye coordination. All you need is some yarn and a little time to teach your child.

Make macaroni necklaces :Stringing together necklaces is a great way for your child to be creative while working on her hand-eye coordination and developing her ability to manipulate objects. To start, give her thick string and big beads or large pieces of dry pasta. Over time, she can work on more complex designs using smaller pieces.

Clothesline :Children use their fine motor muscles to squeeze the clothespins to clip each piece of clothing to the clothesline. I tied a piece of thick string to the handles of a wooden tray to make the clothesline, and used mini clothespins (although the regular sized clothespins can be used as well). The clothes are Barbie doll clothes purchased at a dollar store. As an alternative, you could cut out shapes of shirts and pants from felt.

Clothespins on a Box :Children squeeze the clothespins and clip them to the sides of the box. To make the activity more interesting, I wrote letters on dot stickers and placed the dot stickers around the sides of the boxes. I wrote letters on the clothespins so the children would match the letters on the clothespins to the letters on the boxes. Other skills could be used, e.g. colors, numbers, beginning sounds. This is similar to activities where children clip clothespins to a paper plate or cardstock circle; however, in my experience, those were flimsy and awkward to use, which is why I like the box better. Any sturdy box could be used (shoe box, postal box). The boxes in this picture were stacking gift boxes that held chocolate covered nuts (a Christmas gift), and they worked out perfectly

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Nuts & Bolts :These larger nuts and bolts can be purchased individually at hardware stores. Children use their fingers, hands, and wrists, coordinating both hands while grasping and twisting the metal nuts onto the bolts.

Lacing Cards :These can be purchased or made with poster board and a hole puncher. Use shoe laces or plastic lacing. Tie one end of the lace to one hole of the card. Children lace the string through each hole. These can be made to match different themes or holidays.

Plate Sewing :Tie lengths of yarn to plastic yarn needles, and knot the end. Children “sew” the yarn on a styrofoam plate by pushing the needle in and out through the plate.

Stringing Beads :Children string pony beads onto pipe cleaners.

Bean Gluing:Children draw a simple picture on a piece of construction paper with a pencil. They trace the pencil lines with glue and glue the beans onto the design. Gripping the beans with their fingers is good fine motor practice.

Unifix Cubes or Interlock Cubes :Children push the cubes with their hands to hook them together. Unifix cubes connect on one end and can make a long “train”. Interlock Cubes connect on different sides and can make different things, for example the dogs the children were making in the photo.

Paper Clips:The children in my class are always wanting to use paper clips because they see me use them, so I set up this activity in the fine motor center. I cut squares of colored construction paper and placed them on the tray along with colored paper clips. Children stack the papers (all of the same color) and clip them with the matching colored paper clip. This was challenging for some children to manipulate the paper clip, but they loved doing it, and it gave them an opportunity to use paper clips with permission.

Dot to Dot :I made some dots with marker on the white /colored paper now Children draw lines with the markers to connect the dots on the paper.

Pinching Sand:Sand art is a great fine motor activity because children can pinch the sand with their fingers to apply it to their art work. Provide a simple outline (or have the children draw one), a small bowl of white glue, a small bowl of colored sand, and a “glue brush”. I buy the cheap paintbrushes with stiff bristles. These brushes are not a good enough quality for painting, but they make great glue brushes. Children paint the glue on their paper with the brush, pinch some sand with their fingers, and sprinkle it over the glue. Place a pan, tray, or paper plate on the table for children to shake off the excess sand.

Insect Wrapping :Children wrap the plastic insects with pieces of white yarn (“spider webs”). When they are finished wrapping all of the insects, they unwrap them and place the yarn back in the bowl. 

Pouring:Children pour something from one bottle to another. I started out having them pour popcorn seeds. They can later try pouring sand, and then water.

Knobbed Puzzles :Children exercise the fingers used for a pencil grasp when picking up puzzle pieces that have knobs or pegs.

Development of a pencil grip

Using a dynamic tripod grip helps children to write efficiently, effortlessly and for a greater endurance. Writing will become an automatic task, so that children can spend more time concentrating on what they want to write, rather than how to go about writing it. Developing the correct skills required for using a pencil efficiently will also help to develop other fine motor skills, including typing skills.

Fun drawing and writing activities

◗ Provide a range of pencils, textas, crayons and chalks. Use different coloured and sized paper and cardboard.

◗ Vary where your child does his activities for example, work at a table, easel, blackboard, whiteboard or draw on concrete with chalks.

◗ Make birthday cards or special occasion cards.

◗ Use colouring and activity books such as dot to dot or mazes.

◗ Copy and draw shapes and letters.

◗ Draw or write on a Magnadoodle or Megasketcher.

◗ Draw around hands and feet.

◗ Stencils or tracing.

◗ Duo drawing – draw some dots or squiggles and your child joins them to make a picture, or draw the outline of a person and he draws the eyes and mouth.

◗ Play 0 and X’s.

◗ Write a shopping list.

◗ Make a list of your favourite cricket teams or favourite movies.

◗ Write friends’ names and addresses in a book.

◗ Keep a diary.



Activities that develop and strengthen thumb and finger muscles.

Encourage your child to do these activities with her preferred hand and use her thumb and index finger (and middle finger if required).

◗ Play finger games such as incy wincy spider.

◗ Do up buttons on pyjamas and clothes.

◗ Use tweezers to pick up small beads or toys and put them into a container.

◗ Remove coins from a purse one at a time.

◗ Roll, squeeze, push and poke playdough, clay or therapy putty. Make a birds nest by pinching the playdough between the thumb and fingers, then make eggs for the nest by rolling the playdough into balls. Encourage your child to hold small playdough balls between her thumb and index finger and squash the playdough until her fingers meet. (Pretend the playdough is a bug or egg.) Repeat with the thumb and middle finger, and then with the thumb, index and middle fingers all together.

◗ Encourage your child to hold an object (a coin or marble) against the palm of her hand with her ring and little fingers whilst doing some of the above activities.

◗ Tear up coloured paper for pasting or collage activities. ◗ Threading activities such as beads or lacing cards.

◗ Building with duplo and lego.

◗ Squeeze clothes pegs to remove them from the rim of a peg basket (or ice-cream container) or squeeze pegs positioned on a clothes horse to remove dolls clothes or dress ups.

◗ Use stickers or sticky tape to stick things down.

◗ Play board games such as trouble, snakes and ladders or pick up sticks.

◗ Water plants with a spray bottle.

◗ Squirt a water pistol at a target.

Activities that strengthen the wrist

◗ Encourage your child to draw or write, as much as possible, on a vertical surface as this can help your child to achieve a good wrist position. For example, use an easel, blackboard, or tape some paper to a wall.

◗ Encourage your child to do other activities vertically. For example, placing stickers on a window or a piece of paper taped to the wall, playing Connect 4 or threading activities.

◗ Rolling and kneading playdough.

◗ Wrist lifts – place your child’s arm on the table and hold his forearm. Encourage him to make a fist and bend his wrist back as far as possible for 5 seconds. Repeat 5 to 10 times.

Classroom Strategies: Fine Motor Skills

• Squeeze ball/ stress ball

• Collect a box of objects. With eyes closed, have the child pick up an object and see if s/he can guess what it is. Collect objects that feel different to each other (i.e. hard, soft, bumpy, prickly, rough, smooth).

• Have the children “bury” their hands in a bucket filled with sand, rice, or very small beads for sensory input. Practice writing letters, numerals, and words in the sand.

• Student can use clothespins to hang up their artwork on clotheslines hung in the classroom

• Playdough-roll into small balls or use scissors to cut playdough

• Tweezers to pick up small items or cotton balls

• Play games with that involve the handling of cards, tongs, and small game pieces

• Games that help develop fine motor skills: Bed Bugs, Operation, Lite Brite, Topple, Pick-Up-Sticks, Pick-Up-Sticks, Jenga, marbles, Connect Four, yo-yo’s, Perfection, Don’t Break the Ice, Legos, Ants in the Pants, Hungry-Hungry Hippos

• Use a spray bottle to water classroom plants or to spray chalkboard to clean it

• Use eye droppers to pick up colored water and make designs on paper

• String beads

• Use hole punchers

• Open/ close zip lock bags

• Bake cookies and mix dough with your hands

• Tear newspaper into strips or crumple newspaper

• Clothespin activities

• Play card games, shuffle cards or play activities that use dice rolled in cupped hands

• Place 10-20 pennies on a table. Practice turning pennies over with the fingers of one hand. To make this more difficult, place pennies in two rows and the turn pennies over with both hands simultaneously. • Pick up 5-10 pennies one at a time and move them in to the palm of the hand. Once all the pennies are in the palm, use the thumb to help move the pennies one at a time back to the fingertips. Try this with the right and left hand! This can be done with various other small items to make it more challenging.

• Practice picking up small items with the fingers (beads, small pegs, pennies etc.) and place them in a container

• Learn to braid hair, rope, or string. Perform games with string such as “Cat’s in the Cradle”

• Learn and practice origami (many craft stores sell books to help learn). Practice folding paper to make an airplane, a table football, or “fortune teller” game.

• Practice tracing around a stencil

• Model “house” made out of toothpicks

• Legos, Kinex, building blocks, linker cubes, Erector Sets

• Tanagrams with blocks

• Puzzles

• Play tic-tac-toe with letters of the alphabet that you are practicing

• Complete activities on a vertical surface. An easel is not necessary; try taping a coloring sheet or activity page on the wall, refrigerator, or any other hard surface.

• Touch thumb to fingers of each hand individually, then simultaneously. Make this more challenging by closing your eyes Place a rubber band around knuckles-open and close hand/ fingers. o Make an “L” shape with the thumb and then move it in toward other fingers and then back out

• Egg carton with small manipulatives such as Pepperidge Farm Goldfish. The child is asked to use his "crabs" (thumb and index finger) to get the fish, one at a time. For the children who don't need the snack as a motivational means, small pegs, buttons, etc. can also be used.

• Create an entire fish bowl scene using Goldfish and adding Cheerios as the bubbles they blow in the water. Have them color in the fish bowl for added fine motor activities.

• Vinyl sticker activities placed on vertical surface

• Spin small tops, twirl markers, etc.

Writing Tools :There are a variety of writing tools and pencil grips that can be used as a child grows and develops. Crayons and pencils come in many sizes and shapes. Although primary (“chunky”) pencils are frequently used with younger children, they are not always appropriate for students with a poor grasp. They can be difficult to manage for a child who already has a poor grasp due to muscle weakness and poor stability. If the child is demonstrating difficulty with managing a primary pencil, have him or her use pencil stubs (approximately 1-2” long) to write. Children do not necessarily need to write with large pencils. They should use pencils in proportion to their hand size, muscle strength, and stability level. It is important to try to modify a student’s pencil grasp as early as possible. Adaptive pencil grips may be helpful in teaching students to modify their grasp. A pencil grip positions the fingers correctly and helps the fingers stay in the position as a child writes. Pencil grips come in several styles: pencil grips that slide on the barrel and position the fingers naturally in place (i.e. Stetro Grip, Triangular Grip, Soft Grip); a Pencil Pal is a ring that fingers slip through before taking their proper place; and a Handi-Writer is a pencil grip that fits around the child’s wrist and holds the pencil at just the right angle. These pencil grips may help discourage ineffective grasping patterns and reduce or eliminate fatigue when writing.

Motivate Your Child

Do you ever feel like the only words that come out of your mouth are direct orders? “Empty the trash, be nice to your sister, quit jumping on the couch!!!” A big part of preventing bad behavior, however, is to provide encouraging words to reinforce good behavior when you see it. And a quick “good job” doesn’t cut it—in fact, phrases like “good boy,” “you’re so smart!” and “you’re the best on your team!” are not considered encouraging words. Instead of focusing on positive internal qualities, they put the emphasis on outward praise, which does nothing to promote good behavior in the future. True encouraging words focus on the deed, not the doer. It motivates a child from the inside to demonstrate similar positive behavior in the future, and to value things like hard work, improvement, teamwork and perseverance. List of Encouraging Words and Phrases Encouraging words can be as simple as, “Thanks for your help!” or “You really worked hard!” Here are a few more examples to try around your house: Thank you for your help! You should be proud of yourself! Look at your improvement! That “A” reflects a lot of hard work! You worked really hard to get this room clean! Thanks for helping set the table, that made a big difference. I noticed you were really patient with your little brother. What do you think about it? You seem to really enjoy science. Your hard work paid off! That’s a tough one, but you’ll figure it out. Look how far you’ve come! I trust your judgment. The time you’re putting into your homework is really paying off. I love being with you. You really put a smile on her face with your kind words! That’s coming along nicely! You really worked it out! That’s a very good observation. Thank you for your cooperation. I see a very thorough job! That’s what we call perseverance! I can tell you really care. You make it look easy! You’ve really got the hang of it! I can tell you spent a lot of time thinking this through. I really feel like a team when we work like this! The best part about using encouraging words with your kids is the glow of happiness you’ll see on their faces. After all, “Your hard work is really paying off!” says you noticed their work, while, “You’re so smart,” might be hard to live up to next time. Try a few of these encouraging words with your kids, and watch their behavior—and effort—improve.

Connection

Kids NEED connection, they are biologically wired to need it and when they don’t get it, chaos starts erupting. When the need for connection is met kids are better able to have patience, to self regulate and to learn. If you would like better behavior and less chaos in your family special time may be what you need.

Special Time

Special time is a simple concept with big results. The good news is this doesn’t even require boat loads of patience. All “special time” means is putting aside ten minutes a day to connect with each of your children.

How can just ten minutes together have an impact?

The short time period is what makes Special Time so powerful. We can find ten minutes in our day. We can focus for ten minutes. We can listen to conversations about craft or My Little Pony for that short periods of time. For ten minutes we can be patient and truly present, and our kids thrive on our presence.

Ten minutes is enough to get you started, to give you moments of joy with your children that lead you to want to create those moments more often. When you’ve had a terrible week and you feel angry or resentful, ten minutes is enough to begin bridging the gap that has occurred between you and your child. When you regularly connect 1:1 with each of your kids you will begin to know what really makes THEM feel loved as an individual – and you can do this just 10 minutes at a time.

10 Minute Activities

Conversation

Talking with your kids can happen when you’re working on a project or doing a chore together, going on a walk, or taking just one child on an errand. Here are a few favorite topics for each age group:

· Toddlers and Preschoolers – reminiscing together: just a simple recount of the day or of a favorite family event can be enjoyable.

· Little Kids – likes, dislikes and learning about who this young person is; pretend play scenarios – making up a story together

· Big Kids – asking about things they care about but you’re not usually excited to talk about – giving just 10 minutes to say “yes” to talking about craft or a recent movie for instance; asking them to teach you about something they’ve learned – all the better if you genuinely don’t know the answers

Family Contributions

Working together on family chores gives kids that chance to find their value in the family, to be empowered and know they can make a difference. You can also ask for company while you’re working on a chore without expecting help, and you may get unexpected worker who is happy to have a chance to chat with you.

· Toddlers and Preschoolers – These youngsters usually do want to help out.

· Little Kids – Many young children love the repetition and simple satisfaction that comes with folding clothes or ironing.

· Big Kids – Asking for company while you’re cooking or hanging laundry can give you both a chance to catch up during which younger siblings might be less inclined to interrupt.

Nature and Outdoor Activities

If you have no Garden, just going on a walk around the neighborhood or even taking a drive so that you can get out in the woods for some time in nature can give you a chance to breathe and feel more peaceful.

· Toddlers and Preschoolers – Just heading outside is usually enough entertainment. Take a toddler walk and talk about what you see, look for signs of the season, drag a stick in the dirt.

· Little Kids – We’ve loved and have spent hours in our back yard collecting materials and making little homes for the fairies and their friends.

· Big Kids – Bird watching, caring for a garden, and learning how to train a dog or care for another animal all work well for outdoor activities for older kids.

Arts, Crafts and Making Things

Not all kids are crafty, but most love things like having you fold a paper airplane or a paper boat for them. For parents and kids who do enjoy crafting, it can give a nice side-by-side activity that allows for conversation without pressure.

Toddlers and Preschoolers – painting and drawing together

Little Kids – Try doing a kid art together, Enjoy a craft to go with the seasons, or try our doing big art.

· Big Kids – this is a great age to share one of your hobbies with your child if they’re interested, or try out something they like .

Sensory Play and Exploration

Most kids can’t resist play dough, simple water play, or running your hands through a sensory bin. Adults are often more calmed than they might expect by the same sensory experiences. Without the need for a finished product parent and child can play together and not worry about getting it wrong. If the mess is an issue, try out these tips for enjoying and containing messy sensory play.

Drooling

Drooling is most common in children who suffer from disabilities that impair the nerves or muscles in their throats and mouths. Some examples include Cerebral Palsy, Down Syndrome, head injury, hypotonia, mental retardation, Muscular Dystrophy, seizures, stroke, and/or enlarged tonsils. Many sudden onset illnesses also can cause drooling, so a physician should always be consulted to determine the cause. They may suggest treatments like speech therapy, occupational therapy, biofeedback, medication and/or even surgery.

Drooling or dribbling – the unintentional loss of saliva from the mouth – can affect both children and adults with special needs. There may be a number of causes, including:

· Abnormalities in swallowing

· A reaction to medications which cause an increase in saliva

· Difficulty moving saliva to the back of the throat

· Tongue thrusting

· Jaw instability

· Inflammation of the mucous membranes of the mouth



Poor Sensory Awareness

Many children lack sensory awareness in their facial muscles and don’t get the feedback that most of us do that saliva is near our mouths.

Four ways to increase sensory awareness in the mouth:

1. balm (containing only edible ingredients) to increase awareness.

2. Rub a variety of textured cloths around the child’s mouth.

3. Add sour and spicy foods like lemonade or salsa and cold foods such as frozen fruit or popsicles to the child’s diet to “wake up” the mouth.

4. Use a vibration tooth brush or an infant vibration teether to stimulate the child’s mouth.

Sometimes children just need a gentle reminder of the issue. Help them become aware of their drooling by deciding on a code word that alerts them to close their mouth.

Oral Motor Weakness

Weakness in the lips and the muscles that surround the mouth can also make it difficult for a child to keep their mouth closed, which leads to drooling.

Three ways increase lip and mouth muscle strength:

1. Have your child hold a tongue depressor between their lips (without using their teeth) during times when they are concentrating on something, like drawing or story time.

2. Encourage your child to drink out of a straw (without biting on it) or drink out of an open cup.

3. Introduce simple oral motor exercises like blowing bubbles and horns, or play a game by blowing cotton balls across a table.

children with special needs may need a little help developing the coordination, awareness, and lip strength/flexibility in order to stop or reduce drooling and I have come across some activities which may help do just that.

First, gather some things you will need:

· ➢ Straws

· ➢ Cotton balls

· ➢ Whistles, horns, kazoos

· ➢ Lollipops

· ➢ Chewy, sour tasting candy**

· ➢ Peanut butter**

· ➢ Bubble fluid

· ➢ Dental floss and life saver shaped candy

· ➢ Most of all PATIENCE!



1. STRAWS require a child to use lower lip control and develop the facial muscles required to stop drooling. When appropriate, allow the child to drink from a straw, rather than a Sippy cup which can make drooling worse. Make it a fun challenge, like putting pudding or apple sauce in a cup with a straw. Milk shakes work great too. If your child needs help learning to use a straw, try using a juice box. Put the straw in your child’s mouth and squeeze enough to give them a taste of what’s inside.

2. WHISTLES, HORNS, and KAZOOS are another way for your child to practice the lip control they need to stop drooling. It may not be music to your ears, but the result, a dry child, will make it worthwhile. Some earphones might not be a bad investment for your ears either.

3. Blow! COTTON BALL races are a great way to help stop drooling and have fun at the same time. Place a cotton ball for each racer on a smooth, flat surface. On your mark! Get set! BLOW!!! It’s a great lip exercise disguised as fun.

4. BLOWING BUBBLES is another great way to help stop drooling. Again, by practicing lip control, children develop the strength, lip range of motion, and skill required to help with the problem of drooling.

5. For children without peanut allergies, PEANUT BUTTER can be a great tool. Wipe your child’s lower lip free of drool, and smear a LITTLE (not enough to choke on) peanut butter on your child’s lower lip. The child then licks the peanut butter off the lower lip. As they lift their lip to get all the peanut butter, they will be performing strengthening and range of motion exercises.

6. Sucking on a LOLLIPOP promotes active lip stretching and lip closure which may reduce drooling.

7. Chewing is a great activity for those children without swallowing difficulties to increase awareness within the mouth. Add sour flavors for the added POW! Sour flavoring has also been shown to increase the frequency of swallowing as well.

8. Lace a LIFE SAVER TYPE candy with DENTAL FLOSS. While you hold both ends, place the candy inside the child’s mouth and play “tug-o-war”. Instruct the child to close their lips to keep from losing the piece of candy.


Some more tips which can work in case of Drooling :

Waterproof pillow cases can be put underneath the children’s nice cases – still have to wash them all the time, but it saves their pillows.
Pineapple juice Drinking pineapple juice is reported to reduce the amount of saliva produced, which can be helpful to people who have difficulties in coping with their oral secretions.
Use a straw Encourage the use of a straw for drinking to strengthen the muscles of the lips, mouth and throat. An upright head position and straight posture is best as stooping encourages drooling
Swallow first gently remind the kid to swallow before talking by pretending to be be a frog and doing a big gulp.
Nasal breathing It has been found that children drool less at night if nasal strips are used. Breathing through nose, not mouth really helps
Encourage swallowing gently massage on cheeks using a forefinger in a circular motion. This encourages to swallow
Make your own bib/face wipe by sewing elastic onto a face cloth or – if you want it bigger – use a hand towel. You can pull it forward easily to wipe the person’s mouth, without pulling on their neck. You can also attach to a tennis sweat band to put it on their wrist for them to wipe their own mouth.
Techie tips

You can order a Logitech Washable Keyboard K310.It’s a washable keyboard that is easy to clean and easy to dry because it’s submergible in up to 30 cm (12 inches) of water and has convenient drainage holes at the back. You can also use a Griffin Defender case for iPad it is the most drool resistant.

Discipline Your Child Without Punishment

We want our children to learn from their mistakes and not repeat them. So the natural thought is to send them to the “time out” corner or up to their room to “think about what they’ve done.” Except they don’t. And they’re going to keep doing the same behaviors despite the punishment. So how do you know how to discipline your child? Often, we equate the term “discipline” with punishment. But the word “discipline” comes from the Latin word “disciplina,” which means “teaching, learning.” That’s the key to correcting our kids’ behaviors – giving them the tools they need to learn a better behavior. When we discipline in a way meant only to punish and have the child “pay” for their mistake, it doesn’t help our child learn how to make the right choice next time. No one likes being ordered around – punishment can lead to power struggles, and because our kids know this poor behavior gets them attention, they’ll keep doing it. When it comes to knowing how to discipline your child, we can focus on three key areas: giving them the positive attention they need and crave, taking time for training, and setting limits and sticking to them.
1. Fill the Attention Basket Kids need attention, plain and simple. If we don’t keep that “attention basket” full with positive attention, kids will seek out any attention they can get – even negative attention. They’ll push our buttons with negative behaviors because to a kid, even negative attention is better that no attention at all. This doesn’t mean you have to be at your child’s side 24-7 – just taking a few minutes a day to spend one-on-one with your child, distraction-free and doing something they want to do, will reap immense rewards in their behavior. Take 10 minutes once or twice a day with each child playing a game they’ve picked or reading their favorite book. Let the phone ring. Stick the cell phone in the closet. When you fill your children’s attention baskets positively and proactively, your kids will become more cooperative and less likely to seek out attention in negative ways. Life is busy for everyone, and finding extra time in the day may be daunting at first, but think of this as an investment in your relationship with your children and in improving their behavior. When it comes to knowing how to discipline your child, giving them what they need to avoid poor behaviors in the first place can have a great impact.
2. Take Time for Training As you think about how to discipline your child, it’s important to remember that the word discipline is rooted in meanings of learning and teaching. The best way to discipline your child is to help her make better choices. You can role play the behaviors, using a calm voice. “I’d really like to play with that tractor when you’re done.” “I’d like a snack, please.” Switch roles and pretend you’re the child, and let your little one direct you through making better choices. Be encouraging when they do make the right choices. “I see you worked hard to clean up the playroom all on your own! That’s such a big help. I really appreciate it.” “Thank you for sharing the book with your brother. How kind!”
3. Set Limits and Stick to Them Kids thrive when they have structure and know their boundaries. Don’t go overboard with hundreds of rules, but focus on what’s most important for your family. Be clear about the ground rules and what happens when someone breaks the rules – make sure that everyone understands the consequences ahead of time and that the discipline is related to the misbehavior. Follow through every time with the agreed-upon consequence when kids push the rules. Overall, remember that knowing how to discipline your child is rooted in helping them learn how to make the right choice, not punishment. Be firm and give them the attention, rules and boundaries they need.

Sensory Board

Sensory processing disorders cause children to have a distorted sense of their surroundings, which often interrupts their learning and exploration of their world. Sensory integration is our brain’s ability to interpret and respond to sensory information, and those with sensory processing disorder often have difficulty integrating and responding to this information. Using sensory integration products is one key way to help a child with sensory processing disorder make sense of the world; additionally, these products are ideal for children who do not have sensory processing disorder, and these items can help children reach important developmental milestones.

One such sensory integration product is a sensory board, and you can purchase one or make one yourself. Including your child in the creation of a sensory board is a fun activity, and you can really tailor the board to your child’s needs.


What is a sensory Board.

What is a sensory board you might ask?? It is basically a board in which you attach objects to be explored by ones own senses(typically the tactile or touch sense). You can make it as simple or complex as you wish. There is no right or wrong way to do it. You can tailor them to infants or curious older toddlers depending on what you place on the board.

Benefits of Multi Sensory Environments

Multi Sensory Environments can open up a whole new world for individuals with cognitive and physical impairments. Providing a stimulating environment can:

· Increase concentration and focus attention

·Develop or reactivate senses of hearing, sight, smell, touch, and taste

· Heighten awareness and improve alertness

· Improve coordination and motor development

· Promote cognitive development by increased brain function

· Lead participants to explore their environment

· Provide security

· Be an unrestrained atmosphere where participants feel able to enjoy themselves.

· Improve creativity

· Stimulate the sensory building blocks

· Develop of a sense of cause and effect

· Develop language – more vocalization

· Promote social interactions

· Promote mental and physical relaxation – Stress levels drop dramatically

· Result in more calmness and lower aggressive behaviors

· Increase opportunity for choice and self-determination

· Improve communication and sharing

· Lead to non-responsive patients becoming communicatative

· Provide relief from pain and painful physiotherapy

Materials

Purchase wooden or cork coasters from a craft supply store or a A peg board. Size might vary but the ideal size can be 2ftx4ft ; you can assemble these squares into a larger board after they have been decorated. Using a glue gun, attach a particular object, one for each square. Consider the following sensory objects:

· Beads

· Buttons

· Felt

· Feathers

· Velcro

· Cotton

· Bubble wrap

· Sandpaper

· Wax paper

· Yarn

· Ribbon

· Squishy shapes

· Fake leaves or flowers

· Pipe cleaners

· Plastic letters or shapes

· Pasta

· Craft foam

· Faux fur

· Create texture with glue from the glue gun

These boards help with both tactile and visual issues relating to sensory processing disorder. You can attach almost anything to your board, as long as it is secure and safe. Attach the smaller coasters to a larger board to create a single board with many tactile experiences.

Then, its up to your creativity for adding stuff. Since I wanted to do this as cheap as possible, I made a trip to our scrap dealer. I also stopped at the Carpet Store to pick up free scraps of carpet.

You might be needing lots of zipties to tie your object to the board. You can even tie a recycled yogurt cup. poked two holes in the side and laced the ziptie through it that way. This is a fun little container for toddlers to place "treasures" inside.

infants and toddlers PULL so the best thing to do is to secure this to your wall or wedge a piece of furniture on either side to prevent it from falling down on top of them. Always use this with supervision. You can also play with this flat on the floor but your containers might get smashed if you have a walker or adventurous crawler.

More suggestions of different material that could be used to make a sensory board.


craft foam
pipe cleaners
googly eyes
bubble wrap
sprinkles
lycra
fabric
glitter
feathers
lace
porridge oats
salt
wooden lollipop stick
tissue paper
silver foil

pom poms
felt
shells
sand paper
ribbon
cotton wool
velcro
pasta
paper clips
lentils
buttons
sequins
macaroni

HAVE FUN!!!!


(Picture courtesy Google.)

HOW TO MAKE AND USE A CALM-DOWN JAR

Calm-Down Jar

One of the hardest skills for any person to develop is how to stop an emotional and physical eruption from happening or how to cool ourselves down once it has. We call these explosions “tantrums” in children, but adults have these, too. I call an adult freak-out a bigtrum: big person tantrum.

While reading Jamie Glowacki’s book, I came across the term “Calm-Down Jar” for the first time. It seemed like a great idea so I tried it out on my young family. It has worked quite well so far!

I believe it helps children to calm-down (I made one for myself, too!) because the shaking action releases emotional energy and the swirling glitter creates some space and time for the autonomic nervous system (ANS) to slow down. This is the system that kicks into gear when we get revved up: the fight-or-flight reaction. As we watch the glitter and shiny objects float around, our breathing and heart-rate has a chance to lower, and our thinking can go from the irrational “reptilian mind” types of thoughts like, “I hate you!” to the rational mind like, “I am angry because…”

How to Make Your Calm Down Jar

You will need:
A glass mason jar or clear plastic bottle if you think your child might throw it. If you do use a plastic one, get a funnel to pour the glitter and objects in.
One tablespoon of glitter glue. This thickens the water so the glitter stays in motion longer.
Different colours and sizes of glitter.
Some larger shiny items like fine metal shapes (we used flowers and butterflies), sequins, or small plastic toys.
Food colouring if you’d like the water to have a colour. My child wanted it clear so we kept ours the colour of the glitter glue and didn’t add food colouring.

The order of operations: (I recommend making these on a counter close to the sink)
Fill a jar or bottle three-quarters full with water.
Add one tablespoon of glitter glue. If you want it more viscous, feel free to add a bit more glue.
Put in your smaller bits of glitter: it’s more fun if you use different colours. Don’t get stressed (or maybe that’s just me!) because glitter is getting all over the counter. Wet paper towel will clean that up quickly.
Add the larger items to your jar.
Add food colouring if you wish.
Let your child lightly swirl the jar around to see if it is satisfactory.
When you get the thumbs up that it is good, tightly close the lid on the jar/bottle.
Have a consistent “away spot” for the jar so it can easily be retrieved when needed.

Putting the Calm Down Jar to Use

It is important that your child not feel (s)he is in a power struggle with you about the calm-down process. Telling your child what goes into the jar or when to use it might keep the reptilian brain activated. I call this part of the mind the “cobra” part—you wouldn’t want to poke it, would you?!

 when you sense your child is about to lose it, make the jar available as a gentle reminder without demanding the child use it. If (s)he feels that getting the jar is her/his idea, it is more likely to be successful as a calming tool.

decide on an action plan to solve the problem. Key words for an action plan are: What do I need? Help? To talk? To do better (learn more)? Ideas? To try again? To be clear?

Here is a summary of the steps:
Use a word to start the calm-down process like “jar” or “freeze.”
Say a feeling word: are you mad, sad, or scared? (These are three of the four main feelings: “glad” is the other one.)
Pause to process the feeling. Walk to the jar, shake it and look at it.
Shift into problem solving mode. Consider your options.
Make an action plan: what steps can be taken to solve the problem and/ or do better next time?

Please remember that it takes a lot of repetition to learn something new. Continually use the calm-down jar or whatever tool helps your child to chill out. Don’t give up if it doesn’t work the first time! Be a role model, use the calming tool over and over.

Happy Family

Kids playing independently! Parents celebrate when kids will finally play on their own or with a sibling. Finally – a few minutes of breathing room for mom and dad to get some things done around the house! Independent play is important for your child’s development and should be encouraged, however, playing WITH your kids on a daily basis will do you and your kids a world of good. It will even fend off some of the most frustrating power struggles.

Playing WITH your kids doesn’t have to be elaborate or take a lot of time. It can be as simple as throwing a ball or role-playing with dolls or action figures. “Playing” with a teenager can be a game of backgammon, UNO, or a round of carom . “Playing” is what ever your CHILD likes to do for fun.

3 Great Reasons to Play With Your Kids



1. Deepen Emotional Connection: Kids love to play with us. When you spend time in their world – doing what ever it is they like to do – it creates strong emotional connections. Imagine how your child will respond if you say, “I have 15 minutes before I have to leave for work and I would love to play/hang out with you. Let’s do something YOU love to do for the next 15 minutes.” It doesn’t require a long time to create emotional bonds – but being INTENTIONAL about spending PLAY time each day with your child will do wonders for strengthening emotional connections.

2. Fewer attention-seeking misbehaviors: When parents play WITH their kids, they are PROACTIVELY filling the child’s attention basket in POSITIVE ways. Children have a hard-wired need for attention – it’s non-negotiable. If we provide sufficient POSITIVE attention on a daily basis, kids won’t resort to negative behaviors to get it – clinging, helplessness, sibling fighting, etc. 
When parents implement consistent playtime WITH their children – attention-seeking misbehaviors begin to fall off the radar screen!

3. More cooperative kids and fewer power struggles! As playful parents fill their kids’ attention baskets in POSITIVE ways and emotional connection increases, children consistently become MORE COOPERATIVE at other times during the day! When your child’s hard-wired needs for emotional connection and attention are met, he doesn’t feel the need to “fight back” to get negative attention.

You’ll be amazed at how much more cooperative your kids will be throughout the day.

Teaching the Concept of Yes and No

Here are some activities that can help you teach your child how to answer yes and no . Make sure that your child is really good at each step before you move on to the next one.

Yes No : Do You Want It? (Yes)

Show your child something you know he likes, such as bubbles or a favorite snack. Then, ask your child, “Do you want ____?” (Fill in the blank). If your child shows you that he wants it (by reaching for it or repeating the word), model “yes” for your child to imitate. You can do this by having him say the word yes or by nodding his head up and down. As your child gets better at this, try just nodding your head to remind him instead of saying the word “yes” for him to imitate each time.

Yes No: Do You Want It? (No)

Start with the above activity. When your child is consistently answering yes, try offering something that you know she would answer “no” to. For example, if you’re playing with bubbles and your child is consistently answering “yes”, now switch it up and offer something uninteresting, like a small scrap of paper: “Do you want paper?” Model “no” just like as described above with yes. Say “No, no paper” and switch back to the one you know she likes: “Do you want bubbles?”

The next step: Once you’ve practiced helping her say “no”, try to get her to answer without your help. If she still says “yes”, say “yes, yes paper” and hand her the uninteresting object. She will probably be confused because that wasn’t really what she wanted. When she discards it or hands it back to you, say “oh! No, no paper” and switch back to offering the preferred object.

Yes No : Asking More Questions-Basic Wants and Needs

Before moving on to this step, make sure your child can answer “Do you want ___” with either yes or no depending on if she actually wants it (make sure she’s not just saying yes to everything). Once your child can do that, try using other questions about her basic wants and needs. You can ask questions like “Can I have…”, “Do you need help?”, “Are you ready?”, etc.

Yes No : Is This a ___?

Once your child can answer yes no questions about his/her basic wants and needs, try asking questions about what things are called. For this activity, show your child an object or a picture and say “Is this a ___?” Use the correct name for the item sometimes and say the wrong word others. Help your child answer either “yes” or “no”.

Read books that prompt your child to answer “yes” or “no”.

Some of my favorite baby/toddler books are series by Karen Katz, Leslie Patricelli and Usborne Touchy-Feely Books. These books are interesting, interactive and fun for young readers. And you can heighten their interest in the book by over-exaggerating your yes/no response and prompting them to imitate you.

Ask silly yes/no questions for your child to answer.

Grab some real objects, a stuffed bear, a wooden spoon, a toothbrush and begin asking your child if the object is what it is. For example to work on “yes” you would hold up the wooden spoon and ask, “Is this a wooden spoon?” Or to work on answering “no” hold up the wooden spoon and ask, “Is this a ball?” And let the fun and silliness ensue!!

Model saying “yes” and “no” and nodding your head.

If you child isn’t ready to say the words “yes” and “no” yet, chances are they still understand what you are asking. So you may need to model saying the word and nodding your head for them to imitate. Sometimes physical prompts are needed to help with shaking their head “no” and“yes.” And you typically will get a whole body shake for a head nod as it is difficult at this age to move the head independently from the rest of the body.

Books that Reinforce

• No, David by David Shannon, David, a young and mischievous boy, often gets into things that he should not.

• Yes Day! By Amy Krause Rosenthal, About a day where everyone says “yes!”

Apps for Teaching Yes/No

1. Answers Yes No HD, A simple AAC app providing voice output and the ability to incorporate and custom program images on a button. Users can create boards with more than just yes/no as well.

2. What Did Snakey Eat?, Very cute app that makes for a nice therapy activity for answering yes and no. This preschool game includes pattern recognition and helps young children develop critical thinking skills.

3. Autism and PDD Yes/No Questions, Great app aimed at children on the spectrum but can we used with a variety of children.

Echolalia

Echolalia is the repetition of certain words or phrases spoken by someone else, either immediately after the words were said, or later on. It is often described as parrot-like mimicry. For instance, when asked, “Do you want some juice?” a child with echolalia may answer, “Want some juice?” Echolalia is, to some extent, considered to be a normal part of language acquisition for very young children. However, children with special needs may rely on it more heavily.

There are certain strategies if we as a parent follow can reduce Echolalia. Children with special needs may rely upon scripts to make communication easier.Try to remain calm and patient while interacting with the child. If you think about the fact that echolalia serves a communication purpose for the child, and it’s not just way to try and frustrate people, it can help you to see it from the child’s point of view.

1. Teach the “I don’t know” script. For those questions to which they do not know the answer, children should be encouraged to say “I don’t know”. There is evidence to suggest that training a child to use “I don’t know” to respond to questions to which they don't know the answer helps in picking up and using this new phrase appropriately.

2. Prompt the child to give the correct response. Children may use echolalia when they don't know how to respond, or how to turn their thoughts into appropriate words. Providing a script helps them know what to say.For example, ask "What is your name?" and prompt the correct response (the child’s name). Repeat this until he has learned the right script.

3.Teach your child plenty of scripts. This way, your child can successfully communicate basic things, even when feeling overwhelmed.This gradual process can provide the tools to build confidence, vocabulary, communication and proper interaction for the child

4.Teach scripts that focus on needs. Scripts will help them tell you what they need, allowing you to fix the problem before they are pushed over the tipping point and start screaming or crying. Example scripts include:

• I need quiet time.

• I'm hungry

• That's too loud.

• Please stop.

5. Use the exact words you want the child to use. phrases which the child can understand, pick up and reproduce. This helps them learn how to phrase the things they want to say.

6. Leave a blank in your sentences and point to the answer. If you intend to give your child a snack or if it is time for the child to drink the milk, then you could model by saying “I want to drink ____ (point to the milk and say “milk”). Or say, “I would like a ____” (point to the snack and say “snack”). In time, the child will fill in the blank by themselves.

7. Say statements , rather than asking questions. It is best to avoid questions such as “Do you want this?” or “Do you want help?” because they will repeat the questions. Instead, say what they should say.

8.Avoid saying the child’s name at the end of phrases. The child will start repeating it after you and it won’t make sense. When saying “Hi!” or “Goodnight!” simply say the word and don’t say their name after it. Or, you can say their name first and then pause and say what you intend to say last.

Handle any frustrations on your end. Sometimes it may be a frustrating experience having the ends of all your statements and questions repeated. Remember that the child is trying to communicate when doing this. They simply don't have the same language skills that you do yet.

• Take deep breaths. If you need to, go into a different room for a little while if you get very frustrated and take some deep breaths and collect your thoughts.

• Remember that the child is probably frustrated too. (They certainly aren't having meltdowns for the fun of it.)

• Take care of yourself. Parenting can be exhausting sometimes, and there’s nothing wrong with admitting that. Take baths, practice yoga, allow yourself time with other adults, and consider joining a community group of parents or caregivers of children with special needs.