Connection

Kids NEED connection, they are biologically wired to need it and when they don’t get it, chaos starts erupting. When the need for connection is met kids are better able to have patience, to self regulate and to learn. If you would like better behavior and less chaos in your family special time may be what you need.

Special Time

Special time is a simple concept with big results. The good news is this doesn’t even require boat loads of patience. All “special time” means is putting aside ten minutes a day to connect with each of your children.

How can just ten minutes together have an impact?

The short time period is what makes Special Time so powerful. We can find ten minutes in our day. We can focus for ten minutes. We can listen to conversations about craft or My Little Pony for that short periods of time. For ten minutes we can be patient and truly present, and our kids thrive on our presence.

Ten minutes is enough to get you started, to give you moments of joy with your children that lead you to want to create those moments more often. When you’ve had a terrible week and you feel angry or resentful, ten minutes is enough to begin bridging the gap that has occurred between you and your child. When you regularly connect 1:1 with each of your kids you will begin to know what really makes THEM feel loved as an individual – and you can do this just 10 minutes at a time.

10 Minute Activities

Conversation

Talking with your kids can happen when you’re working on a project or doing a chore together, going on a walk, or taking just one child on an errand. Here are a few favorite topics for each age group:

· Toddlers and Preschoolers – reminiscing together: just a simple recount of the day or of a favorite family event can be enjoyable.

· Little Kids – likes, dislikes and learning about who this young person is; pretend play scenarios – making up a story together

· Big Kids – asking about things they care about but you’re not usually excited to talk about – giving just 10 minutes to say “yes” to talking about craft or a recent movie for instance; asking them to teach you about something they’ve learned – all the better if you genuinely don’t know the answers

Family Contributions

Working together on family chores gives kids that chance to find their value in the family, to be empowered and know they can make a difference. You can also ask for company while you’re working on a chore without expecting help, and you may get unexpected worker who is happy to have a chance to chat with you.

· Toddlers and Preschoolers – These youngsters usually do want to help out.

· Little Kids – Many young children love the repetition and simple satisfaction that comes with folding clothes or ironing.

· Big Kids – Asking for company while you’re cooking or hanging laundry can give you both a chance to catch up during which younger siblings might be less inclined to interrupt.

Nature and Outdoor Activities

If you have no Garden, just going on a walk around the neighborhood or even taking a drive so that you can get out in the woods for some time in nature can give you a chance to breathe and feel more peaceful.

· Toddlers and Preschoolers – Just heading outside is usually enough entertainment. Take a toddler walk and talk about what you see, look for signs of the season, drag a stick in the dirt.

· Little Kids – We’ve loved and have spent hours in our back yard collecting materials and making little homes for the fairies and their friends.

· Big Kids – Bird watching, caring for a garden, and learning how to train a dog or care for another animal all work well for outdoor activities for older kids.

Arts, Crafts and Making Things

Not all kids are crafty, but most love things like having you fold a paper airplane or a paper boat for them. For parents and kids who do enjoy crafting, it can give a nice side-by-side activity that allows for conversation without pressure.

Toddlers and Preschoolers – painting and drawing together

Little Kids – Try doing a kid art together, Enjoy a craft to go with the seasons, or try our doing big art.

· Big Kids – this is a great age to share one of your hobbies with your child if they’re interested, or try out something they like .

Sensory Play and Exploration

Most kids can’t resist play dough, simple water play, or running your hands through a sensory bin. Adults are often more calmed than they might expect by the same sensory experiences. Without the need for a finished product parent and child can play together and not worry about getting it wrong. If the mess is an issue, try out these tips for enjoying and containing messy sensory play.